Posts tagged whackies

Fwithpeople.com is pleased to announce we have partnered with global money launderers and have extended our presence in the funds transfer marketplace to England.  Said CEO and Founder Doug Monroe “It’s true, we are open for business.  We’re finding that there is a global market for overseas funds tranfers, and we’re in a very strong position to streamline that process.”  While Monroe would not disclose information about his partners, he did say he would receive funds from “anyone.” 

This partner from England types in black, and Doug types it up in blue.  Feel free to email this partner yourself to see if you can get involved with your own transfer.  May the F be with you ™

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From: Mr Charles lepp1@live.co.uk 
Sent: Mon, December 13, 2010 8:49:27 PM
Subject: FROM CHARLES

IT IS A PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU A BUSINESS THAT WILL MAKE THE BEGINNING OF NEVER-ENDING FAMILY RELATIONSHIP AND I HOPE THIS PROPOSAL WILL NOT BE AN INCONVENIENCE OR EMBARASSEMENT TO YOU.

I AM CHARLES THE ONLY SON OF LATE MR PHILIP WHO WAS A FAMOUS COCOA MERCHANT. MY LATE FATHER OPERATED HIS COCOA BUSINESS IN ABIDJAN-COTE D’IVOIRE UNDER PARTNERSHIP BUT UNFORTUNATELLY HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES POISONED HIM IN ORDER TO CLAIM HIS WEALTH IN A COCKTAIL PARTY HELD IN HIS HONOUR AS THE DIRECTOR OF THE COMPANY.WHEN HE WAS POISONED,HE WAS RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL.

IT WAS IN THE HOSPITAL THAT HE SECRETLY DISCLOSED TO ME THE CAUSE OF THE SICKNESS AND ALSO THAT HE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF $4.8M(FOUR MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS ONLY) IN A SUSPENCE ACCOUNT TO A BANK HERE IN ABIDJAN-COTE D’IVOIRE AND THAT I WAS MADE THE NEXT OF KIN TO INHERIT THE MONEY IN HIS RECORD/FILE.

HE THEREFORE ADVISED ME TO LOOK FOR A RELIABLE,TRUST WORTHY AND GOD-FEARING PERSON WHO WILL ASSIST ME TO TRANSFER THIS FUNDS ABROAD STRICTLY FOR INVESTEMENT PURPOSES.THIS IS BECAUSE HE DIDN’NT WANT HIS ASSOCIATES TO RAISE AN EYEBROW ON HIS FUND.HE ALSO ADVISED ME TO AVOID HIS ASSOCIATES WHO WILL BE RUNNING AFTER MY DEAR LIFE,HE FINALLY DIED IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER TWO DAYS OF ADMISSION.

I AM SOLICITING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER THE $4.8M INTO YOUR ACCOUNT FOR AN INVESTMENT PURPOSES OVER THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY.I HOPE TO TRAVEL WITH YOU TO YOUR COUNTRY AFTER A SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER OF THIS FUNDS.THE CONTACT OF THE BANK WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU AS SOON AS YOU SHOW YOUR INTEREST AND WILLINGNESS TO ME.YOU CAN NOW INSTRUCT THEM ON WHERE AND HOW THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED.

I AM OFFERING YOU 10% OF THE TOTAL SUM OF $4.800.000 AS COMMISSION FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO THE TRANSFER OF THIS FUND INTO YOUR COUNTRY.MAY I STRONGLY RE-EMPHASIZE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL,HITCHFREE AND THIS WILL BE SUCCESSFULLY CONCLUDED WITHIN 10 DAYS ACCORDING TO YOUR EFFORTS.

THANKS FOR YOUR ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION.PLEASE CALL ME AT +22505212947 FOR MORE DETAILS.

YOURS SINCERELY,
CHARLES.

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From Doug:

Charles,

How could your father be so stupid to allow himself to be poisoned?  After he whispered in your ear about the money, were his last words “I can’t believe how much of a fucking idiot I am?” or “You left your caps lock on…”  Anyway, sorry to hear that he died, but one less dumb person means another idiot out of the way and more food and water for the rest of us.  Why would that be an inconvenience to me?  I’m not digging the hole for him.   If anything, he’s an embarrassment to your family.

I am very pleased that you contacted me.  Like you, I also do not care about the investigation or capture of the people responsible for poisoning your dope of a father.  He’s dead and there’s nothing we can do now but split up the pie.  We should each give 1% of our earnings to the people that poisoned him, and maybe have a cocktail reception (I’ll be drinking bottled water, and suggest you do the same.) 

Also, it looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the Dummy Tree.  Did you put your direct phone number in your email?  You never put your phone number in email correspondence when you’re talking about overseas funds trafficking.  What you need to do is create a Skype account and do a search for me, my Skyper name is DJDaddyLongCockins. 

And, nice try on the 10%, but this isn’t my first time at the Overseas Funds Transfer Rodeo.  My number is 20%, and everybody knows that. 

That’s right.
Doug

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