This guy is looking for a riding lawn mower with a zero turn ratio (that’s the ultimate in lawn mowing) for $100. That would be a great price, considering new ones go for somewhere in the thousands.

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Wanted Riding Lawn Mower – $100


Wanted a riding mower. I need a riding mower that may or may not need repairs. Will pay more for a zero turn. Please email me with what you have for sale.
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from greg*********@yahoo.com

Hey, I saw your add, you’re looking for a riding lawn mower right?
Whoooooeeeee do I have the mower for you. And a hundred bucks is the right price.
Are you still looking or did you find one already?

Doug
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From: David
To: Greg
Subject: Re: lawnmower


Doug,
I still need one :) please let me know when and where to come pick it up. Do you have any pics? Have a great night.
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from greg*********@yahoo.com
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Hey DJ,

Thanks. Thanks for writing back. A lot of people, family included, sometimes ignore my emails. I have the mower of your dreams for a hundred bucks. I’m at my work computer now, so I don’t have the pics here. I’m just curious, this mower is a lot of mower, it will mow your lawn to whatever size you want the grass to be. I used to shave it down to about a quarter inch, it made my lawn look like the top of Johnny Unitas‘ head. Or you can go for a nice easy drive, sip a beer, and just give her a trim and keep it around 2-3 inches long. I used to tell my wife that I was going out to give it the ol’ Liza Minelli bush. She never did like that joke much, course, I never cared much for her saggies. So, just to recap, the mower is $100, and you can ride it, cut your grass, and drink a few beers. I’ll even throw in a 2 gallon gas tank (empty) and one of those hard hats that has the two holders for beers and the straw that goes to your mouth. Without beer, it takes me 2 hours to cut my grass. With beer, it still takes 2 hours, but it feels like 8 minutes. The only reason I’m selling is because I got a new John Deere.

Have a great day David. When I get pics I will send, okay?

Greg

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From: David
To: Greg
Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 4:14:04 AM

Subject: Re: lawnmower


Greg,
Thank you for writing back. Where are you located? Man that mower sounds exactly what I need. What kind is it? Really does not matter for 100 bucks but just curious. I’m ready to pick it up.
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from greg
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Hey DJ, you was up at 4:14am? Whooooooeee you must be an early riser. I’m a lot like you. I get up at 5am, grab a cold brew, take my beagle Buckshot for a walk, we come back and have a little steak and egg breakfast. I’ll tell you what, you ready for the perfect bite? You take a steak and sizzle it in the pan, then you add two eggs on either side of it in the pan. The eggs cook at the same time as the steak, however you want ‘em, over easy, sunny side up, over medium, you know, then when everything is ready, you put the steak on a plate and put the eggs right on top. I call it “steak and eggs” and it’s damn tasty. You won’t ever hear Buckshot give no complaints about this breakfast. I swear to the holy man in the white cape that one time Buckshot said “steak” under his breath. Anyway, let’s talk about grass cuttin’. I hope you have a big lawn because here’s that big boy I was telling you about.
Greg
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From: David
To: Greg
Subject: Re: lawnmower
Greg,
That really is a big boy. That is one heck of a mower. When can I come by and get the mower ? I am ready to get mowing. I am available anytime please let me know I need to get mowing before the wife kills me.
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…to be continued? If you want me to continue, please email: continuethisF@fwithpeople.com
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Rating 3.00 out of 5
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