F'ing people, one email at a time
Posts tagged middle finger
Lazy Afternoon F…
Sep 1st
This guy needs to get out there to buy a new amp and he’s running out of time, and yet, he had time to post this ad. If anyone wants to help this guy out by lending him an amp, please just email: thisguyneedsanamp@fwithpeople.com
(his emails are in black, and my replies, from Doug, are in blue)
Bass amp needed for gig – $40
My band is playing a gig in ******* on Friday night, and my amp is busted. I can’t get it repaired in time for the show, so I need to borrow one.
This is a small gig so I definitely don’t need anything huge. A small-to-medium sized combo amp will do nicely.
I’ll pick it up Thursday and bring it back Saturday. I’ll pay you $40, and we could work out another dollar amount as a deposit if necessary.
Please contact by email if you have something available. Thanks!
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from Doug:
Hey man, saw your ad for the amp. You can borrow mine, $40 is kind of unnecessary. If it makes you feel better, I guess you could buy me a latte and maybe talk for a bit?
Let me know..
Krist
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From: Ben.*****@yahoo.com>
To: Doug <doug***@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Bass Amp
To: Doug <doug***@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Bass Amp
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Great news! Where do you live, and when could I come by to check it out?
Ben
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From: Doug
Subject: Re: Bass Amp
To: Ben
Subject: Re: Bass Amp
To: Ben
Hey Ben,
I’m in *******, and you can come by and pick it up, or I can drop it off to you if you’re going to be near or in downtown. The thing is in great shape, I may end up just giving it to you as I have plenty of them. How long have you been playing the bass? I’ve been letting my fingers do the talking on a bass for about….woah….20 years. What kind of tunes do you and your band play? Keep on rockin’.
Krist
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From Ben:
I live at State and ****, right in the ****town. I could be around any time tomorrow evening. If that doesn’t work, I could also head out to ****** to pick it up. What kind of amp is it?
Ben
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From Doug:
Cool. Cool. The ***********, I’ll have to check it out. Wouldn’t mind sitting in with you guys for a couple of tunes, maybe an encore, you know? The amp is an Orange AD200. Both me and Geddy Lee (of Rush) endorse it. It’s back-to-basics, 200W tube head that is about as close as you can come to plugging your bass straight into a power amp. Active and passive inputs, master volume and gain, treble middle and bass, standby and power switches, all front mounted. Here’s a cool early pic from my band (I’m on the right in the monkey suit and pilgrim hair.) I’d send you the link to our site, but you probably know it already.
Krist
p.s. I’m also selling insurance now, if you need any coverage.
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(no reply)
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F’d of the Day: Mower
Sep 1st
This guy is looking for a riding lawn mower with a zero turn ratio (that’s the ultimate in lawn mowing) for $100. That would be a great price, considering new ones go for somewhere in the thousands.
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Wanted Riding Lawn Mower – $100
Wanted a riding mower. I need a riding mower that may or may not need repairs. Will pay more for a zero turn. Please email me with what you have for sale.
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from greg*********@yahoo.com
Hey, I saw your add, you’re looking for a riding lawn mower right?
Whoooooeeeee do I have the mower for you. And a hundred bucks is the right price.
Are you still looking or did you find one already?
Doug
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From: David
To: Greg
Subject: Re: lawnmower
To: Greg
Subject: Re: lawnmower
Doug,
I still need one 
please let me know when and where to come pick it up. Do you have any pics? Have a great night.
please let me know when and where to come pick it up. Do you have any pics? Have a great night.ff
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from greg*********@yahoo.com
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Hey DJ,
Thanks. Thanks for writing back. A lot of people, family included, sometimes ignore my emails. I have the mower of your dreams for a hundred bucks. I’m at my work computer now, so I don’t have the pics here. I’m just curious, this mower is a lot of mower, it will mow your lawn to whatever size you want the grass to be. I used to shave it down to about a quarter inch, it made my lawn look like the top of Johnny Unitas‘ head. Or you can go for a nice easy drive, sip a beer, and just give her a trim and keep it around 2-3 inches long. I used to tell my wife that I was going out to give it the ol’ Liza Minelli bush. She never did like that joke much, course, I never cared much for her saggies. So, just to recap, the mower is $100, and you can ride it, cut your grass, and drink a few beers. I’ll even throw in a 2 gallon gas tank (empty) and one of those hard hats that has the two holders for beers and the straw that goes to your mouth. Without beer, it takes me 2 hours to cut my grass. With beer, it still takes 2 hours, but it feels like 8 minutes. The only reason I’m selling is because I got a new John Deere.
Have a great day David. When I get pics I will send, okay?
Gregf
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From: David
To: Greg
To: Greg
Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 4:14:04 AM
Subject: Re: lawnmower
Greg,
Thank you for writing back. Where are you located? Man that mower sounds exactly what I need. What kind is it? Really does not matter for 100 bucks but just curious. I’m ready to pick it up.
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from greg
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Hey DJ, you was up at 4:14am? Whooooooeee you must be an early riser. I’m a lot like you. I get up at 5am, grab a cold brew, take my beagle Buckshot for a walk, we come back and have a little steak and egg breakfast. I’ll tell you what, you ready for the perfect bite? You take a steak and sizzle it in the pan, then you add two eggs on either side of it in the pan. The eggs cook at the same time as the steak, however you want ‘em, over easy, sunny side up, over medium, you know, then when everything is ready, you put the steak on a plate and put the eggs right on top. I call it “steak and eggs” and it’s damn tasty. You won’t ever hear Buckshot give no complaints about this breakfast. I swear to the holy man in the white cape that one time Buckshot said “steak” under his breath. Anyway, let’s talk about grass cuttin’. I hope you have a big lawn because here’s that big boy I was telling you about.
Greg
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From: David
To: Greg
To: Greg
Subject: Re: lawnmower
Greg,
That really is a big boy. That is one heck of a mower. When can I come by and get the mower ? I am ready to get mowing. I am available anytime please let me know I need to get mowing before the wife kills me.
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…to be continued? If you want me to continue, please email: continuethisF@fwithpeople.com
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