F'ing people, one email at a time
Posts tagged Luis
F’d of the Day: File this
Jan 7th
Happy Friday from Fwithpeople.com. Let me guess. Payday? Casual day? I hope so. So why not sit back, have a sip of coffee, and check out today’s F’d of the Day. Some of you out there have probably gone for a massage before, a ‘full’ service massage. Doug’s been considering it, but he always thinks on the day he goes there’s going to be an undercover sting operation. Call your Congressman and ask them to put “Doug’s Law” into motion, where no man is denied the right to anonymous handjob services. When you consider the power that we, the American people have, imagine all of us, and all of your friends, gathering around the State House chanting “Rub and Tug! Rub and Tug! Rub and Tug!” There’s nothing we can’t accomplish. If you know of a safe rub and tug operation, please email us with an address to: saferubandtug@fwithpeople.com
Let’s wrap up a pretty dry week with an F’d of the Day that features Trish who’s looking for a filing cabinet. She’s not really one for words, so Doug helps her along a little bit. Her ad and emails are in black, and Doug types it up in blue. May the F be with you ™
f
f
2 drawer file cabinet – $25
2 drawer filing cabinet in good condition. Beige or putty in color.
(iowa…quad cities)
f
f
From Doug
Hello,
You may have already found your file cabinet by now, but if not, let me know. We have some filing cabinets and a desk available.
Thanks,
Doug
f
f
f
From Trish:
Do you have a 2 drawer? are they light colored in good condition? Where can I look at it?
f
f
From Doug:
Hi Trish,
Thanks for writing back. I have two 2-drawer cabinets, one 3-drawer cabinet, two 4-drawer cabinets, one 5-drawer cabinet, one 7-drawer cabinet, one wooden rolltop desk (made of Walnutto), one bankers lamp, a desk calendar (2009), assorted desk ornaments, a leather chair (on wheels that also spins and leans back) and numerous other pieces of office furniture, so much so that it would take too long to list them all.
The file cabinets are what I would call a “pecan sandie,” like the cookie. If you’re not familiar with a pecan sandie, it’s a beige/cream colored treat. All of the cabinets are colored pecan sandie and would make a great addition to the office you’re putting together.
If you’d like, I can send some pictures along.
Thanks,
Doug
From Trish:
Please only send pictures if you are in the QC area
f
From Doug:
Trish,
This is the rolltop desk I was speaking about. More pics to follow with file cabinets, calendar, fax machine, motivational pictures, wall clock, abacus, and other office equipment. I would list them all but there is simply too much to list here. This desk is $150. That is the price I’m extending to you, so if you’d like to turn it around and sell it for more it will just be our little secret.
Thanks,
Doug
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
From Trish:
Thanks, but please send pictures of the filing cabinets. I may have someone interested in your 4 drawer.
f
f
f
From Doug:
f
Me again.
Let me take you on a trip down memory lane. Attached is a one of a kind fax machine, it has the ability to fax documents (place your document face down, otherwise the person you are faxing will receive a blank page and be puzzled. If you are trying to fax a blank page, then placing the document face up is fine.) Now, this fax machine also acts as a hardline for making outbound phone calls, as well as receiving inbound phone calls. I don’t know how often you’d be on the phone at the exact same time you choose to send a fax, unless you’re calling someone to say “I’m sending the fax…..now!” and then pressing “fax.” Obviously, to perform that “fax n’ call” function at the same time, you’re going to need 2 phone lines. Second phone line not included. Ask your friend if they are interested in the fax.
Just the fax, m’am!
Doug
(couldn’t resist)
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
From Trish:
Need an address. And need to see pictures of the cabinets before we come over.
f
f
f
From Doug:
Hi Trish,
I will give you the address once they are done with the investigation. As you can see, there are cabinets and other office goodies in the background. The computer is being taken in as evidence, so that’s not for sale, but everything else is up for grabs. Thank you for your patience while we wait for them to solve this case and shampoo the carpets.
Doug
f
f
f
ff
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
(No Reply)
[?]
F’d of the Day: The Fridge
Aug 31st
This guy is looking for a $50 refrigerator and I have it. Sorta.
refrigerator – $50
Im looking for a refrigerator for no more than 50 dollers thanks alot god bless you if you send email i picture would be nice thank you
f
f
from Greg <g*******@yahoo.com
I know what you’re looking for. A $50 refrigerator. Good news, I have a great used refrigerator, and even though it’s “used” I would rather call it “like new” or “pre-owned.” This refrigerator has been good to me, but I have to sell it because my wife wanted a fridge that makes crushed ice (just regular ice cubes weren’t good enough, but we don’t have enough time to go into that here.) Anyway, she’s a beauty. The nickname we gave this refrigerator is “the fridge.”
You probably found one by now, but, you know, let me know if you didn’t.
Greg
f
f
From: Luis <l*****@gmail.com>
To: Greg <g*******@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Refrigerator
Hey bro thanks what’s your number so I can get a hold of you?
f
f
from Greg <g******@yahoo.com>:
Yeah, well, what I’ll probably do is take a picture of “the fridge” first because I want you to see the product. We can talk about it on the phone, but what are we going to talk about? “Hey Luis, thanks for calling man. Remember that fridge you were looking for to keep things cold? I have it.” My question is, will this be your primary fridge (in your kitchen?) or will this be a secondary fridge that you keep in your garage?
Thanks,
G
f
f
From: Luis <l*******@gmail.com>
To: Greg<g**********@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Refrigerator
Well its not for me its for this lady that just lost her house and so she need a frig so it will be the one she uses in the littel room she is renting out
f
f
from Greg <g*******@yahoo.com>:
f
Jesus. I hope she finds her house.
I don’t know, man. I don’t know if this is the fridge for her. This is what you call the big boy, the one my wife and I used for big function type dinners. I don’t know, man. How big is the place she’s renting out, and does the lease say anything about commercial equipment? See attached. (food not included)
ff
f
f
f
f
From: Luis <l*******@gmail.com>
To: Greg<g**********@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Refrigerator
Thanks bro… but that’s too big for her.
f
f
from Greg <g*******@yahoo.com>:
I thought that one might be too big, but it would be perfect for entertaining in her new pad. You see how I got all those boxes of potatoes? We used slice ‘em up real thin and fry them in 100% vegetable oil (375 degrees) for about 10 minutes. You take ‘em out, put them on some paper to absorb up the excess oil and let them cool slightly. Then we would sprinkle some light salt on them and eat them. When I tell you they were crisp, I mean they were crisp. We came up with a few other spices for them, like, a little sea salt with vinegar sprinkled on. Then some sour cream and onion powder we developed. My wife and I decided to call them “potato chips”, and of course, now you see them on shelves everywhere. Anyway, I have another fridge that might be just right for your friend. It’s smaller than the big boy I showed you, she just might have to be a little crafty about what she wants to keep cool.
Greg
f
f
f
f
f
(no reply)
[?]
