F'ing people, one email at a time
Posts tagged fore!
F’d of the Day: Fore!
Dec 3rd
It feels good to be back. We busted out an F’d of the Day yesterday and announced our Strategic Partnership with PayPal. We received some fan mail from a guy pretending to be in South Dakota. What will happen next? First, we’ll start off your Friday with an F’d of the Day (below.) This afternoon, we’ll be announcing our monthly contest where you can win a Christmas present from Fwithpeople.com. In the meantime, let’s get back on track by F’ng with this guy. His ad and emails are in black, and Dougie Monroe types it up in blue. May the F be with you ™
golf cart wanted (central)
LOOKING FOR A ELECTRIC GOLF CART . IT MUST BE A 4 SEATER. PERFER SOMETHING CHEAPER BUT IN GOOD MECHANICAL SHAPE
From Doug:
Hi, I got a 4 seat electric cart I’m not using. It was my grandfathers and he
left it to me. Good shape, starts up, comes with the charging kit and the seats
are like new. Also has one spare tire. You probably found a cart by now, but
if not, let me know.
Thanks,
Doug
From Chad:
Havent found one yet are you local or could you send me some pics im in the D****** area also what are you asking for it
From Doug:
Chad,
I’m in *******. I could probably get some pictures from my home PC but I really need to know if you’re serious about purchasing this Cart.
1. What is your budget like?
2. Are you using this for golf or recreation?
3. Do you belong to a private club?
4. Will this cart be used on private or public roads? If public, I will need proof that your license is in good standing.
5. Would you be willing to sign a disclaimer waiving me (and my family) from any wrongdoing or injury suffered as a result from operating this cart?
This is important.
Thank you,
Doug
f
f
From Chad:
I’m looking for a recreational cart for me and my son as a father and son project to eventually customize the way we want to.
So no i do not belong to any kind of club. Just thinking this is a great way for my son and i to spend time together. It will be mainly used when we go camping. So if yoare interested you can call me @ ***-***-**** Chad thanks
So no i do not belong to any kind of club. Just thinking this is a great way for my son and i to spend time together. It will be mainly used when we go camping. So if yoare interested you can call me @ ***-***-**** Chad thanks
f
f
From Doug:
Hi Chad,
Thanks for getting back to me, that’s a great idea for the project. That’s why I’d be willing to sell this cart to you for $250 (marked down from $600.) It’s the holidays, and quite frankly, my wife Debbie wants me to get rid of the last of these carts. I got this one on a trailer, so I can drop it off ($50 delivery fee.) Obviously, for $250, it’s going to need a “little” work, but nothing major. Take a look at the picture, and let me know what you think. I also have a cart where the back seat faces forward if you’re more interested in that (price is a little higher.) I’ve also attached the waiver, which is just standard stuff and covers me in case I drop off the cart and you drive it into your pool.
Thanks,
Doug
f
f
f
ff
f
f
From Chad:
Sounds good i can pick it up please call me when you get a chance ***-***-****
f
f
From Doug:
I didn’t see anything in your email. Please re-send it or type something this time.
Thanks,
Doug
f
f
From Chad:
Sorry i was replying from my phone i have a truck and trailer i can pick it up. call me @ ***-***-**** so we can arrange for me to come and get it . thanks
f
f
From Doug:
That’s great you have the truck and trailer, it will save you the $50 on delivery and will save me some time, so I appreciate that. Before you come over and take a look (and take it for a test drive), I’ll need to you fill in the blanks on this document. By typing the information in, it basically clears me of any wrongdoing or bodily harm you might get while getting in the cart and driving it on my property (or after you purchase it.) Again, it’s pretty standard stuff, but I’ll need it before we have you come over. Thanks, Doug
f
Agreement Assuming Risk of Injury or Damage, Waiver, and Release of Claims against Doug’s Cart Emporium, Inc. LLC
I, ________________________, do hereby release Douglas Monroe (i.e. Doug’s Cart Emporium, Inc. LLC) from any and all liabilities related in any way to the bodily harm or injury suffered as a result of using golf carts.) By signing this release, I acknowledge my understanding and acceptance of the following:
1. The cart may not be used on public roads, access roads, interstate highways, or on or near train tracks.
2. Children under the age of 12 must be supervised by a sober adult, and they must wear helmets at all times as a passenger in the cart.
3. Alcohol may not be consumed prior to or while driving the cart.
4. Extremities (arms, legs, feet, head, neckbone, face, et al.) must be kept inside the cart at all times
5. No sticky snacks (such as Fruit Roll-ups or Sour patch kids) allowed, as they could affect operability of cart, yet dry snacks (Goldfish, Cheez-its, assorted nuts, etc.) are acceptable.
6. No foul language, gang displays, or graffiti allowed on cart.
7. No trick driving, stunts, donuts, wheelies, leanies, or other Dukes behavior, and absolutely no “Roof Surfing.”
8. No “pimping” the ride, no “shiny rims”, no Mercedes Hood Ornaments and no rapping.
9. No Tweeting while driving.
I have read the Release of Liability for Personal Injury and have been given the opportunity to speak with a representative of Doug’s Cart Emporium, Inc. LLC before signing this release.
Dated:________________
Print Name:_________________
Signature:___________________
f
f
From Chad:
on the form at the bottom it says that i have read the form and have had a chance to speak to representatve of dougs cart emporium inc.llc but you have not called like i have asked .
f
f
From Doug:
f
Pursuant to exhibit A, Document 1, Seller of cart “Douglas Monroe”, of Doug’s Cart Emporium, Inc LLC, demands immediate termination of any and all agreements, verbal, written, or otherwise with Chad ****** regarding the sale of a 4 person Electronic Golf Cart. Grounds for dismissal based on defendants outright refusal to sign waiver, coupled with an entitled attitude, the basis of which is completely unfounded and puzzling to this Court. We find in favor of Doug’s Cart Emporium, Inc LLC, and permission to terminate this agreement has been granted. The Court will now give the plaintiff an opportunity to comment. Mr. Monroe?
f
Douglas Monroe: “I have nothing further.”
f
Mr. ******?
f
f
(no reply)
[?]
Continued F….Fore!
Sep 9th
This guy simply will not let me stop F’ing with him. If you didn’t see yesterday’s Lazy Afternoon F, let me post it again with the continuation at the bottom:
f
The temperature is just right for a lazy afternoon F. This guy is looking for golf clubs, if you have an extra set hit me up and I’ll get you in touch with him. He writes in black, and I write in blue.
f
f
Wanted Titleist, Taylormade, Ping, Callaway, or Mizuno Irons (WPB)
I want to buy a set of irons, They have to be in great condition or new… I am specifically looking for Titleist AP1 or Ap2 irons, Taylormade r9 or Taylormade Burner irons, Ping G15 irons, Callaway X22 or X24 irons, or any of the new Mizuno irons… Please email me back if you want to sell… I will pay top dollar…
f
f
f
From Doug:
hey, how many sets are you looking for? I have about 15 sets of Callaway X22′s and 24′s…Can only play with one set at a time, you know?
You probably found some by now but if not, let me know.
thanks,
Doug
f
f
from Dylan:
Are they authentic?
f
f
from Doug:
f
Of course, bud. My sponsors send them to me direct from California. I’ve got more clubs and gear that I know what to do with. Of course, like anybody, I have to make some dough on the side.
$250 per set.
Thanks,
Doug
f
f
from Dylan:
f
hmm sounds good ill get back to you soon… are the sets 4-pw??? also i was wondering if u have any 52 56 or 60 degree wedges that u can sell…
f
f
f
f
from Doug:
f
f
52′s and 56′s, yeah, but a 60 for me is more like a lob wedge and I have enough distance control on my pitching wedge where I can basically treat it like a 60. Just open the face wide and swing down and through. The sets are all 2-iron through PW, my sponsors know I need a 2-iron to compete.
You know, a lot of people think the British Open at Old St. Andrews is my favorite victory, but I have a little secret for you. It’s the PGA. See attached.
John
p.s. Sorry for the email alias. You know how it is.
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
f
from Dylan:
Wat kind of wedges do u have to sell like the callaway x jaws?
Wat kind of wedges do u have to sell like the callaway x jaws?
f
f
f
f
f
From Doug:
f
aww shit man, if you buy some clubs I’ll just stuff a few wedges into the bag and send ‘em. I’ll sign the bag, too. Speaking of signing things….Awooooooga!
Signing ‘em. It never gets old, Bubba.
JD
f
f
f
f
f
f
(to be continued!)
[?]
