F'ing people, one email at a time
Posts tagged $50
Fwithpeople.com Announcement
Dec 8th
December 8, 2010 – Almost-daily blog, humor site, and general time-suck Fwithpeople.com announced their strategic partnership with Amazon.com. CEO and Founder Doug Monroe was ecstatic at this latest development and stated through a teleconference with media outlets that “Fwithpeople.com is now excited to offer an online shopping experience through something called ‘a portal’, where consumers can literally shop for products online. We’re pleased to be part of the future of shopping.” Monroe was unresponsive when told that online shopping wasn’t the future, and that it had, in fact, been going on for years. At one point during the call, when asked how this partnership would increase his companies visibility in the Pacific Rim, Monroe’s spokesman quickly interrupted with “No Comment”, after what was believed to be Monroe asking if that was “anything like a Pacific Rimmer, where you play marble toss” into an Escorts’ “hoop.” After returning from 3 minutes on hold, Monroe released his final statement and would not take any more questions. “We are now at the forefront of e-Commerce. We encourage shoppers of all ethnic backgrounds to search for the products they’re interested in through our Amazon portal, conveniently located in the right-hand column of our blog.” Amazon.com was not available for comment, but according to their web site, they “let anyone” have a portal. An estimated 1% of all shopping proceeds via the Fwithpeople.com portal will be donated to WikiLeaks. To win a free prize with no strings attached, see the Contests! page above or, email: contest@fwithpeople.com
f
f
[?]
F’d of the Day: The Fridge
Aug 31st
This guy is looking for a $50 refrigerator and I have it. Sorta.
refrigerator – $50
Im looking for a refrigerator for no more than 50 dollers thanks alot god bless you if you send email i picture would be nice thank you
f
f
from Greg <g*******@yahoo.com
I know what you’re looking for. A $50 refrigerator. Good news, I have a great used refrigerator, and even though it’s “used” I would rather call it “like new” or “pre-owned.” This refrigerator has been good to me, but I have to sell it because my wife wanted a fridge that makes crushed ice (just regular ice cubes weren’t good enough, but we don’t have enough time to go into that here.) Anyway, she’s a beauty. The nickname we gave this refrigerator is “the fridge.”
You probably found one by now, but, you know, let me know if you didn’t.
Greg
f
f
From: Luis <l*****@gmail.com>
To: Greg <g*******@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Refrigerator
Hey bro thanks what’s your number so I can get a hold of you?
f
f
from Greg <g******@yahoo.com>:
Yeah, well, what I’ll probably do is take a picture of “the fridge” first because I want you to see the product. We can talk about it on the phone, but what are we going to talk about? “Hey Luis, thanks for calling man. Remember that fridge you were looking for to keep things cold? I have it.” My question is, will this be your primary fridge (in your kitchen?) or will this be a secondary fridge that you keep in your garage?
Thanks,
G
f
f
From: Luis <l*******@gmail.com>
To: Greg<g**********@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Refrigerator
Well its not for me its for this lady that just lost her house and so she need a frig so it will be the one she uses in the littel room she is renting out
f
f
from Greg <g*******@yahoo.com>:
f
Jesus. I hope she finds her house.
I don’t know, man. I don’t know if this is the fridge for her. This is what you call the big boy, the one my wife and I used for big function type dinners. I don’t know, man. How big is the place she’s renting out, and does the lease say anything about commercial equipment? See attached. (food not included)
ff
f
f
f
f
From: Luis <l*******@gmail.com>
To: Greg<g**********@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Refrigerator
Thanks bro… but that’s too big for her.
f
f
from Greg <g*******@yahoo.com>:
I thought that one might be too big, but it would be perfect for entertaining in her new pad. You see how I got all those boxes of potatoes? We used slice ‘em up real thin and fry them in 100% vegetable oil (375 degrees) for about 10 minutes. You take ‘em out, put them on some paper to absorb up the excess oil and let them cool slightly. Then we would sprinkle some light salt on them and eat them. When I tell you they were crisp, I mean they were crisp. We came up with a few other spices for them, like, a little sea salt with vinegar sprinkled on. Then some sour cream and onion powder we developed. My wife and I decided to call them “potato chips”, and of course, now you see them on shelves everywhere. Anyway, I have another fridge that might be just right for your friend. It’s smaller than the big boy I showed you, she just might have to be a little crafty about what she wants to keep cool.
Greg
f
f
f
f
f
(no reply)
[?]
