F'ing people, one email at a time
F’d of the Day: Sammy
Feb 8th
Heyooo! It’s Tuesday here at Fwithpeople.com Headquarters. We’ve got some great F’d of the Day material coming up, however, we do not want to deny our readers the majestic art that Doug creates. As you know, art comes in many forms. Paint. Drawing. Sculpting stuff with clay. Fashion. Porn. Food. Singing. Carpentry. Etc. Today’s Art comes with a caption, and that caption is: “Awkward Moments with the Rat Pack.”
If you’d like to submit your own Caption, send it to: artauction@fwithpeople.com
Also, include a modest bid for your chance to win this one of a kind original.
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“Awkward Moments With The Rat Pack”
(click to enlarge, then click again to really enlarge)
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Moment of Silence for Kim Kardashian Commercial
Feb 7th
Okay, thank you. Wow. Those were T-BAB’s. Someone capture and send a picture of them to: tightlyboundawesomeboobers@fwithpeople.com
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In the meantime, we’re getting truckloads of feedback about our Original Art, so here’s another one for you. Want to buy it? Sure! Send your bid to: artauction@fwithpeople.com
(Bidding starts at $5. Bidding stops when bids no longer come in.)
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Fwithpeople.com Original Art
Feb 4th
Happy Friday from Fwithpeople.com. Doug has been known to dabble in the Arts. He’s what those in Show Business call a “Quintuple Threat.” He can write (obviously), he can draw (as you’ll see), he can dance (using Xbox Kinect’s “Dance Central”), he’s athletic (well, golf) and he can make the love. In High School, Doug was voted “Most Likely to Penetrate You.” If you’d like to be removed from Doug’s Penet-Radar, please unsubscribe by sending an email to: donotpenetrate@fwithpeople.com
By taking no action, you hereby consider yourself Open Season, and you had better be good at sprinting. Now, Doug’s second passion is drawing, and there is a buzz in the industry regarding some original pieces he’s recently unveiled. For the first time ever, you are getting a glimpse into the magic that Doug creates using nothing more than a #2 pencil and a piece of paper. This original art is up for auction, and we’ll start the bidding at $5. If you would like to bid on this one of a kind piece, please email your bid to: artauction@fwithpeople.com
Proceeds from the sale of this artwork will go to Doug Monroe. Auction closes today at 3pm, EST. The highest bidder will receive the original, signed by the artist. This piece won’t last long, certainly not past 3pm.
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F’d of the Day: Mmm-mm, good.
Feb 3rd
Heyooo! Happy Thursday from Fwithpeople.com. It’s hard to describe the feeling we get when we have a good F’d of the Day prepared for you. Remember the time your Dad took the training wheels off your bike, and you went for your first true bike ride? Or how about the first time you made love to a gym sock? Either way, Debbie Monroe sets out to bang someone up on the West Coast, and this is their story. Their ad and emails are in black, and Debbie types it up in blue. May the F be with you. ™
Patio Umbrella (Palm Springs Area)
Our beautiful Umbrella broke in this last wind storm. Looking for old just pole or full umbrella . Please call Julie at (909) 555-**** or email back. Thanks!
From Debbie:
Hi!
Those windstorms can certainly cause some damage. You probably found your umbrella or pole by now, but if not, let me know. I have a few, and maybe there’s one you might like.
Thanks,
Debbie
From Julie:
Yes we did find the umbrella and pole clear over the house across the street but it is all bent up. Yes I would love one of your umbrellas or pole Where are you? We are in Palm Springs. Thanks!! Julie
From Debbie:
Wow! Are you serious?! I’m glad you didn’t impale your Postal carrier! omfg.
We’re in Palm Springs just off East Ramon.
What color are you looking for?
Thanks!
Debbie
Thanks!
Debbie
From Julie:
Haha, yeah it flew over the house. Something out of Mary Poppins! So glad no body was hurt.
From Debbie:
How come wind doesn’t carry things away from our backyard that we no longer need, like old paint cans, dog poopers, or car batteries?!
So glad everyone is safe. That’s good. What color were you interested in, or is it my choice?
Debbie
Debbie
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From Julie:
Haha, The umbrella we have is new just the pole broke so Im not sure it I can slip my tan umbrella on a different pole? If not I guess a whole umbrella in Tan color or what ever?
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From Debbie:
Well, keep in mind that if you take a new pole, you’re going to have to remove the umbrella part off the damaged pole, then attach it to the new pole, and hope it’s all one universal size (which, as you know, is not the case.) Based on your description, I don’t have “tan”, but the labels on the inside of the cloth for these say “pecan sandie” (so it’s the color of the crisp cookie delight) and “walnutto” (which is like a darker yet lighter tan) and “putty” (this one is closest to tan without saying tan.)
Debbie
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From Julie:
All sounds great!!!! How much do you want? Thanks so much!!!!!
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From Debbie:
Prices may vary! We have everything for your outdoor needs, umbrellas, patio furniture, grills, lighting fixtures, mosquito magnets, propane tanks, bocce sets, adirondack chairs, awnings, and hot tubs. There is simply too much to list here. But wait, there’s more! We’ve got hammocks, space heaters, picnic tables, garden equipment, tiki torches, and deck tiles. That should be all, right? Nope! We have bar seating, lawn ornaments, sod, portable coolers, bug repellent, flower boxes, seeds, garden hoses, etc. The list goes on and on! All you have to do is come on down to Home Depot! We’re located at 5200 E. Ramon Road. You can’t miss us or our Sale this Saturday! Come into the Garden Center and ask for Loco Debbie!
Thanks,
LD
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From Julie:
Pretty cheap trick! From now on I will alway’s go to Lowes!!!
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From Debbie:
Don’t hate the Home and Garden Center Player, hate the Home and Garden Center Game.
Loco Debbie
p.s. I’m embarrassed for how you spelled “always.”
(no reply)
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