F'ing people, one email at a time
Doug
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Posts by Doug
F’d of the Day: T-Mill
Jan 21st
If you’re just checking in for the first time today, treat yourself to a nice T-BAB post immediately following this F’d of the Day. As promised, we have an F’d of the Day to take you into the weekend. It’s 4:15pm, EST, and that’s it. Doug is calling it a day for you. So put your feet up, grab a brew, and read today’s F’d of the Day. This one is about as fresh as it gets. These emails are coming from Doug’s inbox to your screen about a half an hour after the last email is sent. Their ad and emails are in black, and Doug types it up in blue. May the F be with you ™
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Treadmill
I need a running treadmill.
One that is not really expensive…
Will pick up, can even bring another guy if it is heavy.
Thanks!
From Doug:
Hey, you probably found your treadmill by now, but if not, let me know. We have a treadmill that we never use, my wife hangs clothes on it.
Thanks,
Doug
From Steve:
How much would you be willing to let it go for?
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From Doug:
Hmm. What is your budget like? This thing was $995 brand new and my wife “had to have it”, but I should have just bought her a clothesline.
Thanks,
Doug
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From Steve:
Well, I only have around $200 right now, but if I have to save up more to get a decent treadmill that is fine with me too.
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From Doug:
$200 is good for a stationary bike. We have one of those, too. She had to have the “recumbent” bike, which is a bike that you’re technically riding, but it’s tailor made for those riders that want a cross between “riding a bike” and “laying on a couch.” I mean, look at this idiot.
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From Steve:
Really appreciate the offer, but I think I am in the market for just a cheaper style treadmill. Specifically running is important for the type of conditioning I need.
Thanks again though!
Steve
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From Doug:
Oh, it’s not for sale. Just wanted to show you what I’m dealing with at home. My wife Debbie has the recumbent stationary bike, which she wanted because she thought it would be “good for her posture” and also a good way to get exercise while she eats lunch. She wants us to get a tandem recumbent bike, and I was about to say “over my dead body” but that will probably give her the idea for us to be buried in a tandem casket. Yeah, let’s hold hands for eternity. Please.
Anyway, what are you training for? My roommate in college was training to run with the bulls of Pamplona (in Spain.) We’d grease up the track and he’d run with the treadmill on 12 miles per hour while we’d scream and throw pillows and tomatoes at him. Dude got down to like 7 percent body fat. He got spiked by a bull and needed 92 stitches in his thigh and some shots. The matadors ended up giving him the bullhorns after they slaughtered it for just doing what comes natural to it. You’d think the bulls would just chill and kind of understand the gravity of the situation, like “hey, let’s not run, let’s just casually walk and then corner one of these idiots” but I think they go into a panic because the crowd gets them riled up with screaming and most likely they’re prodded with electrical currents.
Hang onto my email when you get up to $400. That treadmill is yours. My wife isn’t going to exercise. She loses her breath when she’s ironing.
Thanks,
Doug
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From Steve:
HAHAHAHHA … pillows and tomatoes.
That is the funniest form of training I have ever heard of. Poor bull though =/ Poor roommate too though I guess, 92 stitches at the horns of a bull does not sound like my idea of fun. But hey, at least he got a good souvenir / conversation piece out of it i guess.
I am training for boot camp, so they recommend a lot of running, push ups, and sit ups.
I will hold onto your email, and let you know!
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From Doug:
Stop right there Steve. What do you mean “training for boot camp?” Training for “real” boot camp, like with the Armed Services boot camp? Or the “other” boot camp, where all of the local gyms have a bunch of pussies doing jumping jacks in a field and then jogging to Starbucks? Those people make me want to puke. I listen to them at the bars, while they’re eating nachos “OMG, this is totally going to throw off my Boot Camp routine, but can we a side of queso with these?” Calling that form of training “Boot Camp” is a god damn disgrace to the real Boot Camp. They should call it “Pussy Camp.”
Anyway, good luck with your training, and you can’t see me right now, but I’m giving you a salute.
Thanks,
Doug
p.s. No offense if you’re doing the Boot Camp I was making fun of. I didn’t do either Boot Camp’s. I grew up with my father calling me his little Girl Scout.
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T-BAB’s Friday!
Jan 21st
Yep, here we are on a Friday afternoon. You’re sitting there going “They’re F’ing with us. Fwithpeople.com is F’ing with us. There are no T-BAB’s. There’s no ‘F’d of the Day’ taking us into the weekend. This is bullshit.” You’re right, this is bullshit. The hard work is there. The effort is there. But you know what? The results aren’t there. Until now. And, we guarantee that an F’d of the Day will be posted at some point this afternoon. For now, we have some T-BAB’s for you, and unlike some “NSFW” pics, we consider this one “SFMW” (Safe For Most Work.) Let’s face it, you’re not working at the Pentagon or wherever Tightly Bound Awesome Boobers could potentially be frowned upon. First, we’ll run down our check list of what qualifies as a T-BAB. So, before sending your T-BAB pics to tightlyboundawesomeboobers@fwithpeople.com, make sure they meet the following criteria below. We’ll use today’s T-BAB’s as a reference for you.
TB = Tightly Bound: Check
A = Awesome: Check
B = Boobers: We have lift-off
Herro!
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F’d of the Day: Mastervader
Jan 20th
Happy Thursday from Fwithpeople.com. Doug is doing his best to bring you daily entertainment, however, his day job has interfered with his ability to get his F on. We know, we know, excuses are like assholes, everybody has one and some are stinkier than others. We guarantee a new F’d of the Day tomorrow to bring you into the weekend. Also, we’ll be posting some more T-BAB’s for you. After speaking with other Blog Professionals in an online forum, we found that “prank emails” are “okay” but the real way to direct readers to your blog is with ”Tits.” So, after 6 months of email pranks, we may completely overhaul Fwithpeople.com and change it to tightlyboundawesomeboobers.com.
Here’s a real good F’d of the Day. If you don’t laugh at this, don’t ever come back (until we change the site to an online broadcasting station for tits.)
This time, Doug posts a message and gets some responses. Doug’s ad and emails are in blue, their emails are in black.
250GB hard drive – $10 (Los Angeles, CA)
Hello,
I recently purchased a 250gb hard drive. I copied over all of my photos and music and it took up about 1GB. I still have 249GB’s at my disposal and would like to lease them in increments of at least 10GB’s. If you would like me to store some of your files for you, it’s $1 per GB, so one block of 10GB would be $10, and that’s fair. Your files will be protected and not shared with other tenants on the Hard drive, nor will I look at any of your files.
Thanks,
Doug
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From Antonio:
What a joke
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From Doug:
Nope, I’m serious. To be honest, I really didn’t know what a gigabyte was, so when I bought the hard drive, 250gb sounded like a good number. I mean, who knows how big a picture file is? I had about 250 pictures on my computers hard drive and just figured that 250gb was the right number to go with. I probably should have just gotten 1gb I guess. Do they sell them that size? Do you sell those at ***** Tech?
Thanks,
Doug
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From Antonio:
Hello and sorry for the delay, well 1st of all i as a tech person never recomend anyone from uploading any type of personal info to the web, it might be private to you but who ever is your host they are able to see your information, plus its cheaper if you just go out and buy an external hard drive and put all your information there and save it that way you always have it there with you and it’s not on the web were i know and i have some customer that have experience their information to be used for something alse, remember just becuase it’s private to you does not mean that it’s for them, if you read your fine print you will find that some times they are able to use your data for what ever they want if you are not careful to what you are signing thats what you might be doing to your data.
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From Doug:
Hi Antonio,
I thought if I had 250 pictures I would need 250gigabytes of space. For example, let’s say I had 1,000 pictures. I looked online, and if I use that same math (250 pictures = 250gb), I would need 1,000 gigabytes (I guess they are calling it a terabyte) to store my 1,000 pictures, right? I take a lot of pictures, sometimes nature, sometimes…personal, but I obviously need a place to store them and not on my camera. I just don’t want to lose years and years of images. Would you be interested in renting a 10gb block of space on my hard drive for just $10? I will not look at your files or images, that wouldn’t be fair. I am thinking about starting my own e-commerce site where, let’s just say people were interested in buying things online, computer products, etc., well, why not have a web site where people can go to make those purchases? I might call it dougsdepot.com or dougscomputerwares.com. You’ve been nice so $10 for 20gb a space. Offer good for today only.
Thanks!
Doug
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From Antonio:
Its ok I apreciate that offer.
Keep in mind picture never use gigabytes they use megabytes which is way smaller than that. In a 16gb flash card you can store about 10000
pics if they were to be 5mg each or even 8mb each
*************
Antonio
Antonio
***** Tech
(323) ***-****
(323) ***-****
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From Doug:
Hi Antonio,
I went down to Best Buy and spoke to Zack. I’m not quite sure how to tell you this. Your storage figures are a little out of order and what I’d expect from a seasoned technical expert. A 16gb flash card will hold about 16-20 images, and you really shouldn’t go over 16 but I guess the manufacturers figure that people will try to push the envelope a little bit. That’s why they have the number 16 on it, because that’s the suggested amount of images you can store. When I mentioned the flash card to Zack, he goes “No one calls them flash cards anymore, dude, this isn’t 2008. They’re thumb drives.” I don’t know why, I guess because they are about the size of a human thumb? Zack said if I really wanted to get more bang for my buck, or in his words, “more storage for your porridge”, I should go with the Maxtor Central Axis Network Drive (attached as 1000picturedrive.jpg.) This drive is one Terabyte, which is awesome. I can put up to 1,000 pictures on this hard drive, and that’s just what I’m looking for. They should call it the 1,000 gigabyte images drive to make it easier for people that like to work with raw data. My next concern is if I go over 1,000 images, I will need to get another terabyte drive. Do you know if I can have two drives hooked up to one PC like that? Any feedback on this issue, and not how much storage those drives have for images, would be appreciated.
Thank you!
Doug
Doug
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From Antonio:
Are your pictures size 1gb? If so then he is right if not then make the math.
also you can have many external or network drives since the computer gives each drive its own letter drive.
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From Doug:
How can I tell how big the pictures are? I figured one picture is one gigabyte (1 = 1), so, that’s how big they are. If you mean, how big are they when you look at them, I guess on my screen they are like, 4 inches wide and 7 inches tall (I won’t tell you how I measured the height.) I have a 13? monitor though. Can I send you one of the pictures? It’s probably gonna be a gig on your side, too, but maybe with a bigger monitor the picture will appear bigger.
Thanks,
Doug
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From Antonio:
1000mb = 1gb
If your pictures are 10mb each then you can out 100 pics in 1gb so in a 16gb flash drive (thumb drive), that equals 1600 pictures.
If your pictures are 10mb each then you can out 100 pics in 1gb so in a 16gb flash drive (thumb drive), that equals 1600 pictures.
Note. People have diferent names for flash drives, corret name is flash drive google it to see, don’t believe what people say its better if you google it. I show my coworker and supervisor your responce and they said that the best buy guy should be fired
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From Doug:
The pictures seem to be 1 gigabyte each, because when I spoke with Zack he said that 1,000 pictures will fit on the 1,000 gigabyte drive (aka, “terabyte.”) I do appreciate you following up, but it just seems easier to follow Zack’s math. He and I had a real connection when it came to raw data. In the meantime, I am pleased that the three of us are now on the same page and calling it a thumb drive. I was confused at first, “flash drive”, “hard drive”, “thumb drive”, why don’t they just call it a “picture drive”, because that’s what I’m using it for. I will let Zack know that your office agrees he should be fired. Zack said that you guys seem to be running some kind of computer chop-shop, and to let the professionals handle my storage needs. I’m not sure who has the most technology experience, but Zack is very mature for 17.
What other services do you offer?
Thank you,
Doug
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(To be continued…UPDATE: Part 2 is below)
From Antonio:
To get the size, make a right click on top of the pic and click in properties and that will tell you what size is the pic
From Doug:
Hi Antonio,
Thanks for your patience. I’m going to attach a 1GB image (about 16 of these will fit comfortably on the 16gb thumb drive I purchased from Best Buy.) Along with the Maxtor 1,000 Gigabyte Images Drive, I also bought this drive because it’s easy to take with me, as a thumb drive will easily fit in your pocket. Please keep in mind that a thumb drive goes by other names, like ‘flash’ and ‘mini.’ There seems to be a rather large discrepancy between exactly what “storage” is, as a reputable conglomerate like Best Buy and your run of the mill outfit entirely disagree. Zack and I would like to invite you to lunch at the Food Court to talk about storage devices. (Lunch not included)
Also, I’ve attached a picture, 1GB, of Zack and I. This was just a Halloween goof and Zack was not injured (attached as dougvaderandzack.jpg.)
Thanks,
Doug
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From Antonio:
Just to let you know, that picture that you send is not even a 1mb picture, as it is, the size is 57.2kb and 1000kb = 1mb
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From Doug:
Hi Antonio,
How did you come to that conclusion? I asked Zack after I was done mock-choking him, and he goes “that’ll be about a gig.” Zack’s entire part-time job depends on his knowledge of storage devices, and that’s why he recommended the Maxtor 1,000 gigabytes images drive. Your math seems to be more like a guess-timate, and I am just looking for cold, hard, raw data. Who is right, you or Zack? I sent another pic (Zack said “that’s a gig, too”) titled “dougvaderwithchick.jpg.” Zack is not pictured, he was in the employee locker room changing into a Best Buy turtleneck to hide some bruises. I ended up taking that girl to Chick-Fil-A at the Food Court. You know how chicks like guys in uniform, so she kept asking me how big my light saber was and if I could use it to teach her the Force. I’m going to try.
Thanks,
Doug
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From Antonio:
That picture is 309.8kb
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From Doug:
Hi Antonio,
I can’t believe how quick you are to determine the size of those images. Please don’t mention this to Zack, but I think you might know more about storage and images than he does. Would you recommend I get a bunch of much smaller drives for my images? Like do they make drives that will hold an image of 309.8kb? I would like to maybe get a few hundred of those drives and put them on a keychain or something. I would like to buy them from you, if you would get the commission on them.
Thanks,
Doug
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From Antonio:
I would sat get two 32gb thumb drive and store your images there, why do I say two, as a tech I always tell people to make a duplicate of what they have specially if its important to them and with two thumb drives you can have a backup of one just in case
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From Doug:
Hi Antonio,
Thank you for your explanation. If I could take it a step further, you say that you would make a duplicate to have an additional back up, just in case, and when I was speaking to Zack, he said I may want to make a triplicate copy, just in case something happened to the original, and then just in case something happened to the back up. That’s why he tried to sell me another Maxtor 1,000 gigabyte images drive. Do you think that two (or, three) of those drives could be stored in my utility belt (dougvaderutilitybelt.jpg)?
Thanks,
Doug
“May the storage be with you” – Doug Vader
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From Antonio:
Yes they fit but by having two when one goes bad that’s when you get another thumb drive and re backup
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From Doug:
Antonio,
In your experience, what do you mean, “when one goes bad?” Is there any way to predict when one of the drives is going to shit the bed? Does it make sense for me to then get a triplicate set of drives, and, if that’s not enough, a quadruplicate? What is the typical shelf life of one of these thumb drives? (I noticed we’re both using this term now)
Hey, that chick from Best Buy wants the Saber again, and she has a friend. You want me to ask her to send pics and maybe we can all go out?
Thanks,
Doug
(no reply)
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Fwithpeople.com Announcement
Jan 19th
Heyooo! We got another T-shirt winner! Tommy Barba, from somewhere in California, wins a Large t-shirt of our choice. Tommy was the first reader to answer the trivia question from our last post, which was “What is the name of Doug’s wife?” and the answer was “Debbie.” Are things heating up at Fwithpeople.com or are they heating up? Yep. You never know what you’re going to find here. An F’d of the Day? A picture of T-BAB’s (Tightly Bound Awesome Boobers)? A partnership announcement? A revelation about Doug? The possibilities will oftentimes leave you speechless. For now, join us in celebrating Tommy’s victory. Tommy has signed a release to let us use his name, his likeness, his face, and his body type (he wears a large t-shirt, ladies.) If you’d like to send Tommy pictures of yourself and try to set up a private online chat, just email picturesfortommy@fwithpeople.com
(Pictures to be reviewed by Doug and forwarded to Tommy, if approved)
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