F'ing people, one email at a time
Doug
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Posts by Doug
F’d of the Day: C*mcast
Oct 13th
We’re moving closer to Project F. Doctor Fwith has been working night and day getting these F’d of the Day’s ready for you. They’re going to be scary (literally.) In the meantime, let’s F with a certain cable monopoly. Edsel represents them, and Doug represents Doug. May the F be with you (tm.)
Live Chat
Goodnight, I can no longer wait for your reply.
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F’d of the Day: Continued
Oct 8th
Heyooo! Happy Friday from Fwithpeople.com. Today we’re just going to pick up where we left off with Tammy and her space heater. You can see that F’d of the Day and continuation here:
http://fwithpeople.com/2010/10/fd-of-the-day-heater-for-sale/
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F’d of the Day: brrrrrrr!
Oct 7th
Well, we’re getting closer to “Project F” and to give you a little hint, the timing couldn’t be better to get some “scary” characters into our F’s. We’ve been so focused on Project F that our F’d of the Days have slipped a little. If you don’t like today’s F’d, why not scroll back through some of the archives in the pages at the bottom. We’re coming up on 100 F’s. Hard to believe, mostly because that’s not true. I think we’re at 60. Anyway, their ad and emails are in black, and Doug types it up in blue.
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Wanted: Garage Refrigerator (West Boise)
The garage refrigerator quit cooling and the one in the house is just too small. I don’t care how ugly it is, as long as it works. I am looking for cheap cheap since I’m a student. Please let me know what you have. Thanks so much! I can haul
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From Doug:
Good Afternoon,
You may have already found your Fridge, but if not, please let me know!
Thanks,
Doug
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From Holly:
i have not! do you have one?
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From Doug:
Yeah, well, I don’t know how fancy you lookin to get with your garage fridge. Most folks just do something like put extra things they can’t put in their regular fridge, you know? Like if your kitchen fridge doesn’t have room for 12 packs of soda, or a turkey, or maybe your family drinks a lot of milk, or you need a place for extra condiments (like 1/2 gallon jugs of ketchup or mustard), then I have to tell you, the perfect place for those items is in a garage fridge. Same thing goes for the freezer that comes attached. You’ve got a great place to store ice creams, desserts, and maybe frozen meats like the turkey I mentioned, or chickens, steaks, etc. I’ve got a great selection of fridges to choose from and I’ll attach the picture (fridgestore.jpg.) Only the fridges are for sale, so, computer parts, a/c units, and the red outhouse are not for sale.
Thanks,
Doug
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From Holly:
Yeah I don’t care what it looks like but I know that you are not supposed to lay refrigerators down because it makes their compressor go out. I’m afraid those wouldn’t work. But thank you for your time!
Holly
Holly
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From Doug:
Well, heh heh, hold on there little lady. Let’s just hold on. I’m glad to see you know a little something about refrigerators, but you certainly can lay refrigerators down. The compressors don’t “go out” (I think you’re thinking of pilot lights) but I’ve taken the time to alleviate the oxygen from the compressor, essentially draining it of any gases. The key is to re-compress them prior to plugging them in (after standing them upright.) I would also include a small oxygen tank that you simply re-fill after standing them up in your garage. Now, you do have to be careful not to overfill the compression chamber, otherwise the overflow could blast out a large amount of flame and heat in a condensed area, as my brother in law Carl found out. His nickname is “Nubsy” and he can’t golf or bowl anymore, but he still gets it done. I’ve been in the junk part and nicely refurbished refrigerator business for over 30 years and my motto is, “you don’t let people that don’t know what they’re talking about tell you about laying fridges down when you’ve been in this business for over 30 years.” Anyway, you take a fridge, it’s 25 bucks. All you gotta do is re-compress it and they fire right up. You’ll need a truck to pick up, too, or Nubsy will deliver.
Thanks,
Doug
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F’d of the Day: Heater for Sale!
Oct 6th
Okay, we’re back with an F’d of the Day. Things were looking pretty bleak there for a couple of days, ever since we announced our full court press with “Project F.” Fwithpeople.com Nation is ABUZZ about Project F, people are writing in from all over asking for hints and spoilers, but we’re steel traps. As information becomes available, we will notify you. Now, let’s get back to a nice F’d of the Day. The ad and their emails are in black, and Doug types it up in blue. May the F be with you ™.
catalytic heater….. looks like this (Boise)
lemme know how much yawant please
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From Doug:
Hey,
I have one of these for sale. I could part with it for $200. Not using it. Just sitting there in the garage.
Thanks. You probably found yours by now, but if not, let me know.
Doug
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from Tammy:
sorry i cant afford near that much but thank you
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From Doug:
woah woah woah, there. Woah.
This thing is just sitting here. Why don’t you tell me the price range that would make you comfortable?
Thanks,
Doug
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From Tammy:
lol right now i only have $28 at the moment,lol, but i’ll get back with you at the end of the day
should have a bit more by then, but not sure, seems a bit slow again today. I also have a credit card that needs to be paid this week, so it’s kind of a wait n see, just wanted to put it out there and see what kind of bite I got, I’m really gonna need one of these too, for I’m having to live in an RV right now. We could trade for haircuts, I’m an excellent barber specializing in short mens cuts, how about 15 haircuts???
should have a bit more by then, but not sure, seems a bit slow again today. I also have a credit card that needs to be paid this week, so it’s kind of a wait n see, just wanted to put it out there and see what kind of bite I got, I’m really gonna need one of these too, for I’m having to live in an RV right now. We could trade for haircuts, I’m an excellent barber specializing in short mens cuts, how about 15 haircuts???
Thank you,
Tammy
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From Doug:
You really have a lot going on there. You know what I mean? First, you got the $28. I don’t know about that for the heater, plus, I give you the heater for $28 then you just sitting there with the heater and no money for eats. Then, you got that credit card. Those things were invented by a vampire, I swear to Jesus F Christ. You pay. You pay. You pay. That number ain’t going down. Then some people in, shit, I don’t know, Maryland? They’re just processin those payments one after the other. That number is never going away. It’s enough to keep you up at night and think about getting a new social security number from the internet. Now let’s have another lookie at your email. Hey, you’re living in an RV. Nothing wrong with that. It’s got the word ‘Recreational’ right there in the title. That sounds a lot better than some places I’ve lived, like ‘apartment’ and ‘halfway house.’ I’m glad to hear you’re an excellent barber and you specialize in short mens cuts, but I’m 6’1″. Do you have like a footstool to get up on or maybe a lower seat?
I have to be honest with you. 15 haircuts has a nice ring to it, little lady. That’s about 2 or 3 years worth of hair cuts for me. And that makes more sense than taking the 28 bucks. But I’m not short, like I said.
Thanks,
Doug
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From Tammy:
well i already know i cut two guys hair that are 6’4″ and never recall avin a problem cutting their hair
but that cool if ya dont wanna make that deal lemme see what i can come up with…. days notlookin too damn good and its about over only up to $40 now lol guess that came from havin such a kick ass week last week, but ya know that money already went towards rent and the other credit cards lol
but that cool if ya dont wanna make that deal lemme see what i can come up with…. days notlookin too damn good and its about over only up to $40 now lol guess that came from havin such a kick ass week last week, but ya know that money already went towards rent and the other credit cards lol
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From Doug:
Two guys that are both 6’4″, well god damn, is them fellas twins? If you ever cut their hair at the same time, you be sure to charge them for two hair cuts. You know them twins is always looking for a discount on something. Like they buy two sets of the same clothes, they gonna ask the clerk for a discount on a bulk purchase. Or playing those god damn games with their names. “No, I’m Troy and he’s Roy. You thought I was Roy? No, Roy has that freckle remember?” Anyway, who can remember that shit. Those two freaks look alike and I can’t tell ‘em apart. I never trust twins. They’ve got a strong bond, like a two person mafia. Always whispering back and forth, or just using their minds to communicate about evil. No one can explain to me how twins are even made. It’s like two of them tadpole pucks slipped past the goalie, but I’ll tell you what, that ain’t natural and I think only one should be allowed to live. Just choose one, you know?
Why don’t we say this, $10 for the heater and 5 haircuts? I don’t want to take advantage of you little lady. What’s your hair place called?
Thanks,
Doug
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(To Be Continued…Continued)
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From tammy:
you crackmy ass up!… lol … ok so call me or leaveme your number, busy at the moment
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From Doug:
You got one of them there web sites? Cutnup. That’s a pretty god damn catchy name. You know what you’re going to get into when you go to a place call ‘cutnup.’ I’ll be honest, I had to read that one twice. But you know what you’re getting into. We got some places nearby called “Shears To Ya” and “Snip-apotamus” and “Hair Today Gone Tomorrow” and you know what they are, they’re haircuttin’ places. But they ain’t gonna give me 10 haircuts over the next 2 years like Cutnups. I like to take my time when my barber cuts my hair. We talk about life, family, food, drink, sports, politics, animal planet, maybe get a temple massage. I used to bring dinner or lunch in, that way if it’s a slow day, there’s no reason why I’m not going to sit around for 2 or 3 hours, just shootin the breeze. I’m retired, where the hell else have I got to be? So Cutnup might be my new lunch place of choice. I could schedule the haircuts in advance if you want, but you’ll be seeing so much of me that you might get sick of me. No, I’m just pullin’ your leg, you won’t get sick of me. People say I talk too much but it’s better than being quiet all the time right? I can’t stand dead silence. If we’re talking, that’s great, and if there’s just a break in the action or whatnot, I’ll just start whistling, or maybe hum a little tune, or maybe sing a nice song. There’s nothing wrong with music and it would help fill up the dead silence in between our sentences. This is gonna be a hoot. I almost forgot we were talking about a heater!
Alright, well, you’re busy at work little lady, but it was nice of you to reply.
Thanks,
Doug
Doug
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From Tammy:
lol, well its not my shop actually, impretty sure after today that I’m moving down the street, people are too loud in this shop and i think its stupid freakin name actually lol
you didnt give me your number damnit!
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From Doug:
Well I’ll slap a monkeys bottom. What do you mean you’re moving down the street? You’re quittin Cutnup? Are you changing professions or are you going to another cutting place? What’s the new one called? You might be there one day, cutting a patrons hair and then you look over in the next chair and there’s Ol’ Dougie, dependable as ever, and funny as a son of a bitch. Whoooooooweeee can I tell you some jokes. I like to spin around in the chair like I’m on the Tilt-o-Whirl at the fair. One time, I spun so much at Snip-opotamus that I lost my tuna sandwich all over myself and the countertop. Looked like a wallpaper paste bomb went off. You should think about opening up your own place and be your own boss, maybe call it “The Taminator.” Well, I normally don’t give out my number to a young lady, so today probably isn’t going to be any different. You seem to have got off the track there, we were talking about a heater, not getting together for dinner or a walk and chat. But I am flattered, that was nice of you to make a little pass at me.
Thanks,
Doug
Doug
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From Tammy:
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so let me guess you dont even have a heater lmfao
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From Doug:
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Sure I do.
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(no reply)
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