F'ing people, one email at a time
Fwithpeople.com Announcement
Heyoooo! Thank you for the outpouring of emails and inquiries about Doug’s whereabouts and wellbeing. Oh, god, I just wish I could hug everyone that sent in a “get well” email, and squeeze them so hard their head pops off and I get to drink from their skeleton fountain. You may recall we had a contest to see if someone could name Doug’s wife, who has been not only mentioned in some of Doug’s emails, but she’s also been known to do some of her own F’d of the Day’s. The answer, of course, is Debbie, and the winner, of course, was Tommy Barba. Tommy is a cool cat from North San Diego, which is like San Diego but just a little higher up on the map. So, Tommy wins a shirt, and then, like the vapid hole that has become the posts on this site, he disappears for 2 weeks. Then, out of the blue, boom, my inbox blows up from Tommy, and dude is premiering the Fwithpeople.com shirt. I don’t know why he’s wearing an Eskimo hat when it’s 80 degrees and sunny every day, but this guy pulls off this look. I know it looks like Tommy just stole a drum from someone’s van, but the truth is, he’s in a Drumline. Prediction: Some day, they’ll make a movie about a Drumline, and it will be the tom-tom equivalent to Fox’s “Glee.” Here’s another prediction: Tommy ends up playing in the USC marching band. The football players get first choice with hot chicks, but they can only handle 53, right? Okay, maybe 106. But after that, there are 10,000 other chicks that will settle for the band. “Is that a giant drum around your neck, or are you just happy to see me?” No, that’s stupid. But here’s a line I might use if I was Tommy with that drum: “Hi, will you help me load this drum into my van that has no windows?” Tommy’s not going to need lines. He’s got the shirt. He’s got the drum. He’s probably got a giant right biceps from beating it all day. The drum. He’s surrounded by sunshine and coeds. If you’d like to hire Tommy to pound the drum all day for your sceance or at your next Mayan Ritual, drop us a line and we’ll put you in touch. We look forward to showing up at Tommy’s dorm, unannounced.
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| Print article | This entry was posted by Doug on February 24, 2011 at 2:17 pm, and is filed under F'd of the Day. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |
